Is Dating a Thing or Nah?

My personal definition of single is not taken, not claimed, not married.

I know what kind of girlfriend I am, and to be honest, I don't have time to be that right this moment. I am a full time student until December, in addition to my regular job, being a mom, and life. I'm trying to get fine by my birthday, working on learning myself, and launching a new brand (BougieandtheBudget). I am busy. I’m living my life.

Single works for my life, right now.

However, I would like to date and like have someone to play with from time to time.

This whole post was sparked by a recent interaction I had with a guy I was interested in. 
Lemme tell y’all how that went ..

We started our conversation with his expectations.
Which was basically a here and there/casual kind of thing.
& I went along with it (the conversation that is). 
but then.. I thought about it.

I am not really a "casual" person. I require a little effort, and by effort I don't mean anything extravagant or unrealistic. This is very basic, getting to know you. 

I expressed to him that I need some effort, he wasn't interested, I'm assuming, because I never heard from him again

Which I guess is fine, because I mean if I am not worth a little effort, then what is casual really? Especially with a person I don't know. Right? 

To me, “effort” is somewhere beyond Netflix & Chill but before candlelit dinners at Mastros.
Like a Bahama Breeze, Sushi, kinda vibe.. (hahaha)

That constitutes dating or getting to know someone. To me.
Whatever happens after that .. happens.

But you gotta start somewhere…

3 Things I Gathered from This Interaction:

  • Direct Communication is CRUCIAL
    • I respect a person that can say what they want. Most people don’t do that.
  • KNOW and State Your Intentions
    • I feel like you gotta know what you want and then be willing to not settle for anything less
  • Don’t Settle
    • If a person tells you who they are, what they want.. BELIEVE THEM.

These are the 3 things I will keep close to me as I navigate the single and “dating” scene in my “bout to be 30s

Is “Netflix and Chill” our version of dating?

I don’t wanna play that game.

Where is the balance?

In closing, and as reassurance to all my single ladies. 

Eartha Kitt reminds us, compromise for what?

Thoughts anyone?





What's Up Wednesday!

What's Up Wednesday!