My personal definition of single is not taken, not claimed, not married.
I know what kind of girlfriend I am, and to be honest, I don't have time to be that right this moment. I am a full time student until December, in addition to my regular job, being a mom, and life. I'm trying to get fine by my birthday, working on learning myself, and launching a new brand (BougieandtheBudget). I am busy. I’m living my life.
Single works for my life, right now.
However, I would like to date and like have someone to play with from time to time.
This whole post was sparked by a recent interaction I had with a guy I was interested in.
Lemme tell y’all how that went ..
We started our conversation with his expectations.
Which was basically a here and there/casual kind of thing.
& I went along with it (the conversation that is).
but then.. I thought about it.
I am not really a "casual" person. I require a little effort, and by effort I don't mean anything extravagant or unrealistic. This is very basic, getting to know you.
I expressed to him that I need some effort, he wasn't interested, I'm assuming, because I never heard from him again
Which I guess is fine, because I mean if I am not worth a little effort, then what is casual really? Especially with a person I don't know. Right?
To me, “effort” is somewhere beyond Netflix & Chill but before candlelit dinners at Mastros.
Like a Bahama Breeze, Sushi, kinda vibe.. (hahaha)
That constitutes dating or getting to know someone. To me.
Whatever happens after that .. happens.
But you gotta start somewhere…
3 Things I Gathered from This Interaction:
- Direct Communication is CRUCIAL
- I respect a person that can say what they want. Most people don’t do that.
- KNOW and State Your Intentions
- I feel like you gotta know what you want and then be willing to not settle for anything less
- Don’t Settle
- If a person tells you who they are, what they want.. BELIEVE THEM.
These are the 3 things I will keep close to me as I navigate the single and “dating” scene in my “bout to be 30s”
Is “Netflix and Chill” our version of dating?
I don’t wanna play that game.
Where is the balance?
In closing, and as reassurance to all my single ladies.
Eartha Kitt reminds us, compromise for what?