Is Dating a Thing or Nah?

My personal definition of single is not taken, not claimed, not married.

I know what kind of girlfriend I am, and to be honest, I don't have time to be that right this moment. I am a full time student until December, in addition to my regular job, being a mom, and life. I'm trying to get fine by my birthday, working on learning myself, and launching a new brand (BougieandtheBudget). I am busy. I’m living my life.

Single works for my life, right now.

However, I would like to date and like have someone to play with from time to time.

This whole post was sparked by a recent interaction I had with a guy I was interested in. 
Lemme tell y’all how that went ..

We started our conversation with his expectations.
Which was basically a here and there/casual kind of thing.
& I went along with it (the conversation that is). 
but then.. I thought about it.

I am not really a "casual" person. I require a little effort, and by effort I don't mean anything extravagant or unrealistic. This is very basic, getting to know you. 

I expressed to him that I need some effort, he wasn't interested, I'm assuming, because I never heard from him again

Which I guess is fine, because I mean if I am not worth a little effort, then what is casual really? Especially with a person I don't know. Right? 

To me, “effort” is somewhere beyond Netflix & Chill but before candlelit dinners at Mastros.
Like a Bahama Breeze, Sushi, kinda vibe.. (hahaha)

That constitutes dating or getting to know someone. To me.
Whatever happens after that .. happens.

But you gotta start somewhere…

3 Things I Gathered from This Interaction:

  • Direct Communication is CRUCIAL
    • I respect a person that can say what they want. Most people don’t do that.
  • KNOW and State Your Intentions
    • I feel like you gotta know what you want and then be willing to not settle for anything less
  • Don’t Settle
    • If a person tells you who they are, what they want.. BELIEVE THEM.

These are the 3 things I will keep close to me as I navigate the single and “dating” scene in my “bout to be 30s

Is “Netflix and Chill” our version of dating?

I don’t wanna play that game.

Where is the balance?

In closing, and as reassurance to all my single ladies. 

Eartha Kitt reminds us, compromise for what?

Thoughts anyone?

 

 

xo, 

OSO

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