Guess whos bizzackkkk !
I miss this, its been a while. A long while. Life happens/ed and is happening, err day!
Anywhoo.. so whats up.
I graduated! BOOP BOOP! I am the PROUD graduate of the University of Nevada, Las Vegas with a Bachelor of Science, Urban Studies.
I moved into a new apartment! :) It feels amazing to be back in my own space. It is definitely; a thing to be in your own space! I will never take it for granted again! It’s come a long way! Its cutesy and I am kind of obsessed.
A few weeks ago, I did a room makeover on my daughters room. I literally got all of the things the same weekend and my mom helped me put it all together. I knew if I was going to finish this project; I had to do it while she was gone. I completed this entire project for less than $300. She just turned 9 last month; so this new room was kind of my birthday gift to her. Now she better not ask for anything until Christmas.
So last night, one of my friends posted a journal of writing they had done. It reminded me that I had the intention to start journaling again.. but then life and I never got around to it. Made me think about a time in my life when I was LOW.. really low, it was in 2015. I was so sad and I was sick. I was just in an awful place.
I have come a long way; I got a long way to go.
I was recording during that time my platelet counts were super low, like 7 and 4 (normal by the way is anywhere between 150-450). So yeah it was low. I was feeling the effects of it, lethargic, low energy, but mostly I was sad. I had switched to a new job, and left my comfort zone and friends that I had worked with for years, broke up with my then boyfriend, and gotten sick all in a short period of time. However, I was still getting up and going every single day. Day in and day out I was fighting through it all trying to push through, because well… what other choice did I have but to push through? Life wasn’t going to wait for me to just feel better.
However; all of this to say…a lot of the things that I wrote about as personal attributes that I wanted to change I am still beating myself about TO. THIS. DAY!
The thing about it is; I AM DOING BETTER. I just haven’t been doing the work consistently. So it makes me wonder, if these things that I have literally been working on for like the last 4 years (or at least talking about doing) are they really important to me?
Then, I realized, a gem that I got from Devi Browns podcast. I need to feel WHOLE. This may be why I am not hitting these personal “goals” I keep setting for myself. I go to therapy, and I don’t know how to answer the question “What do you do for fun?” or “What do you like to do?” I know a few things that I enjoy sometimes, but I don’t have a lot of time for myself and I don’t make myself a priority. I need to take time to get myself whole, and just get better spiritually and mentally.
MORE THINGS TO WORK ON …but I feel like I am getting closer to my sweet spot
Also, back to the books! I am waiting impatiently for Sacred Woman by Queen Afua and Contagious, both recommendations that came from my inundation in Nipsey Hussle. I think I will write about that later.
Stay tuned friends…